One of those days…
Mother always warned me about days like this…
I’m one of those people that likes to know what’s going on with my friends…so that when I think of them, I can take their specific needs to God in prayer. I know He already knows what their needs are anyway(far more than I ever could), but in this way, I feel as though I’m being more conscientious. I know lots of people say that in a disingenuous manner, but that is the way I honestly feel, and down through the years, I think I have been the kind of friend to people that God wants me to be, more often than not.
Last night, I felt led to phone a very good friend of mine who has been dealing with a serious situation in her family. One of her parents is struggling with a very serious illness…and I thought I would communicate my concern for her one-on-one, so that she could hear that someone was out there, thinking of and praying for her. At least that was the idea…
My intentions were as pure as they could be…I honestly felt led to convey concern and support. One thing I do NOT understand is people who have notions like mine, and consequently claim that God told them to do what they did. Sure, I felt that the spirit of God was the force planting the desire to call my friend, and express my support…but He didn’t MAKE me call her. That much was MY idea…a legitimate expression of my love and care of this friend, but my move nonetheless.
So I made the call, and quickly qualified it by saying that I didn’t have a lot to say, and whatever I did say would likely sound rather stupid…then, I proceeded to prove that.
I happened to mention a close friend who had unsuccesssfully dealt with the same health situation years earlier, and tried to convey that I had confidence in her to deal with her situation, despite the odds. At this point, perhaps I should have called time out, and looked in the book of Job to see what would happen next.
For like Job, my friend is one who loves God very much, and does her best to serve Him in her daily walk, despite these health challenges she is dealing with. And she does NOT need to have obvious information relayed to her by a well-meaning but slightly misguided soul such as I.
The conversation seemed to go well, and I saw no signs of danger in her reaction to what I said to her. But sometimes, it takes time for the surprise to register…and once it does, woe be unto the unfortunate but well-meaning purveyor of assurance and comfort.
Sure enough, after a few hours, I checked ny e-mail…and discovered her anger had burst forth in an angry missive to me. What stayed with her was not my overall message of hope and comfort, but the unfortunate things I had said in trying to convey my alleged “understanding” of her situation. My heart dropped into my stomach when I read her message of hurt and anger. Where did I go wrong?
The Bible tells in the story of Job, a upright man of God going through tremendous suffering, about three friends of Job that approach him in his time of agony and grief, and attempt to console and comfort him in the midst of it. I’m sure they meant well too, but in their rather clumsy attempts to explain Job’s plight to him, they only managed to frustrate and anger Job. For Job knew where he stood before God, and if not for his agony, would have been quite amused at the vain attempts by his well-meaning friends at their attempts to help HIM, when it was THEY who lacked understanding where God was concerned.
One thing I know, and that is how little I know. Even though I’ve been blessed by God with an above-average mind, that is no guarantee that I’ll always use it to its’ fullest potential. In fact, as I grow older, the more I realize how truly little I know…and how much I need to learn. Last night’s attempt at friendship was another valuable lesson learned in what really matters most in life.
And life hurts sometimes, that much I’ve learned. And sometimes our best attempts at doing good and honorable things end in pain…why? That’s something I won’t learn completely until I come face-to-face with the One who made me. I’m afraid there are some questions in this life that don’t have quick, fast-food, microwave answers…despite the phenomenon of people like Dr. Phil.
And with that realization, perhaps I now have more understanding than I even thought I did of the situation my friend is going through. God does have odd ways of working through situations at times, doesn’t He?
I’m still learning…and licking my wounds as I do so.
Please say a prayer for my friend…she deserves our REAL support.
Posted on Mar 18, 2006 - 07:45 PM | [0]
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